Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Further Thoughts On Reversals of Elements - Reversed Queen Of Cups (when nurture goes awry)

Anyone who has ever remotely worked on a committee or in a group effort, often will see certain human traits that surface in themselves and others. Archetypes that show up again and again and human frailties and booby traps we can all fall into.

There is the very self sacrificing person who perpetually saves the day, does too much and is often teetering on the brink of burnout. They often hear "we don't know how we'd get by without you", but the flip side (which can be detrimental) is the organization then is one person away from falling apart.

Martyrs aren't great role models. It is a great truth that healthy compassion is not about needlessly suffering along with others, but rather being in a place of well being and caring from there. This is not easy (at least it hasn't been for me, I don't know, but if it's been a walk in the park for you from the get go then I'd love to read YOUR blog, send me the link). 

I often remember a quote from Dorothy Parker -one of my favorite authors (see left), -she was very ironic and a lightning wit.

Someone once commented that Claire Booth Luce (see right) - who Dorothy didn't like - just "lived for others", to which Dorothy replied "Yup and you can tell the "others" by their hunted look".

In another instance, someone said "Claire is so kind to her inferiors" and Dorothy responded "wherever does she find them?"

I'd probably put Dot's take on Claire as Queen of Cups reversed. Important to note though that Dorothy was at times a suicidally romantic alcoholic, (rather Queen of Cups reversed-ish herself). Maybe that's why Claire rankled her so, there is an ancient saying; "who smelt it dealt it".

Righting The Reversal

Personally I've had to go through bumps and discomforts (and no doubt still will from time to time) before I've seen my own patterns and baggage and been able to find release from them. I sometimes have cycles where I find I'm doing way too much in some areas and am off track in others. 

I have found that whenever I am living under the threat of an "or else", that in some way I am already in it. The first times I had to recognize this were the hardest. Many of the people who were around playing into that pattern DID leave, they found another person to play into that pattern with, some got fed up and moved on in their growth. The crisis of letting go of that addictive behavior of rescuing was frightening but moving through that "or else" turned out to be one of the most positive things I could do. I had a lot of help (we usually do when we are honestly trying to move beyond this).

I listened to what some good people had been trying to tell me all along. I spent time alone and found it wasn't bad, as a matter of fact it was nourishing. I sought (and still seek) the counsel of others with experience. I know I haven't seen the last of these lessons, in truth I think we always are moving through them in some way. I can tell you it does get easier, and the neat thing is, it's very very ok. We can see it more readily and move through it more gently. When the poop hits the fan and that "or else" plays out, there's a lot more that comes into view, a lot of it very good possibilities and potentials that are hard to see when you're busy turning yourself into a pretzel. It's usually been there all along waiting to be discovered.

After a while, we start to see too, that the universe never gave us a gift by mistake. It didn't get the name tags mixed up on the presents. If we have been abusing gifts, they sustain damage, but the human spirit is very resilient. When we recognize that we're in that trap, when we release the "or else", there's an opportunity to come back and work with our gifts. They come into more graceful use, they evolve. We are given the chance to see something more than acceptance. Acceptance is important but there is something greater, recognition is seeing the genuine potential that has always been there and the use of the gift starts coming from that place instead. We start being kind for kindness sake (instead of a gritted teeth kind of NICE), we can give more freely with less of a drain or a price tag. People find us more comfortable to be with as we are more on a level playing field. Reciprocation goes on and we start to experience the intimacy of sharing ourselves and being shared with.

On that perky note -I have a good friend who closes most of his messages with "LIFD": Life Is Fabulous Dahling!

Reversals Of Fortune, Or When Your Gift Owns You

One of the things that Tarot can help us identify is where our strengths are working, where they may be blocked or, often with the best intentions, are being misused. This is often shown in the reversal of an element. I should stress from the start that I am not necessarily just referring to a card being upside down. Reversals of cards are not as simple as the opposite meaning of it right way up. I should also mention that I don't always pay attention to a physical reversal, it can sometimes be more the muting of the card's potential (a little like the two pedals on a piano, sustain and mute). This is where the "reading" of the cards is different from simply memorizing what a book says they mean. The messages of a card have a consistency but the inflection changes everything. Sometimes a reversal may be indicating a potential not yet realized or working on a more unconscious level. This can be a warning depending on what is present in the bigger picture.

When other people are described in a reading (through the court cards), I try to remember that it is not an absolute definition of the person. It is the aspects of that person in relation to the person being read. We might have a difficult conflict with someone who may or may not have those difficulties with others. This is where I always have to remember that a reading is subjective and also that the main focus has to be in identifying what the client can work with. If the other signals (both the cards as well as what I am receiving intuitively) indicate problems resting with someone else, we can only go so far in terms of identifying that other person's stuff. We cant drink medicine and make someone else get well. A very big part of what a reading SHOULD do is show us where our own elements are on track and where they are not.

It is also often, (but not always), the case that when a quality in someone else rankles us, it can be a good opportunity to look at something in our own character that is being triggered. When someone sticks their big oar in our plans, when someone has the audacity to ask "just who do you think you are", these are opportunities to see where our gifts or strengths might be getting the better of us. Same goes with those times when we find ourselves saying " I try and try and I keep getting the same result". These are the moments where we can wake up and recognize we are sometimes in that reversal ourselves. Usually something our ego thinks is terribly necessary needs to be let go of. We need to pause and see where we may be running up the down escalator.

One of the very big signs that an element is reversed is the lack of satisfaction. There is never enough. Classic examples of this are when our compassion becomes tragic martyrdom, constructiveness becomes negative competitiveness, protection becomes domineering tyranny and our values become manipulative greed. However people are rarely as simple as comic characters. What we often view as heroes or villains are usually people with mixed qualities (and motives). There are truly very few absolute "good guys" and "bad guys" out there.

Most recently the situation of Conrad Black could be easily described as King Of Pentacles reversed. This is someone who obviously has had an enormous amount of talent and charisma to have accomplished so much, but there aren't many who have sympathy for this guy right now.

In the instances of dealing with other people's reversals, we can learn from their mistakes, not play into their game and sometimes ask the question; "what is it I need to recognize and learn from this"? We can't always choose what life puts on our path, but a reading can show us what kind of place we are giving these things in our consciousness, what we are giving up our own worth to and where we often have the choice to engage or detach  and move on.

Friday, July 30, 2010

Upcoming Art Exhibit by Charles McDougall

The show is called
"The Mystery and Magic of the Manitoba Legislature."
7 p.m., Thursday, Sept. 2  
at the Cr8ery Gallery.
2nd floor – 125 Adelaide St.   
(in the Winnipeg Exchange district) 

For more about Charles' work visit Foxtower Photography

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Keeping Readings A Healthy Resource (Not Unhealthy Dependence)

Some thoughts around how a majority of practitioners (that I know) and myself work ethically in not taking advantage of vulnerability or encouraging dependence on reading. Readings are an occasional resource and not meant to take the place of other areas of help and support. Most of the readers we have here in Winnipeg follow a good, down to earth and trustworthy approach but, as in any profession, there are sometimes the (fortunately rare) bad apples. Always trust your OWN instincts when it comes to readings.  Also watching out for scams or "up selling". For more on how to avoid these, see my article from 2010 on how to avoid scams, along with information on how to report these things if you encounter them, at:
Curses! Foiled Again!! (avoiding scams)

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Curses! Foiled Again!

I have had some feedback lately from clients that have been to another reader in the city (Winnipeg, but this goes on elsewhere) that I will not name. They report that after a reading that seemed fairly accurate the reader went on to tell them that the cause of their problems or difficulties is a curse, a curse that the reader could remove for them but it is strenuous (of course) and that it is a costly procedure - $700.00 to be exact. When the client told the reader they do not have that kind of money the reader said (ominously) "come back when you have it".

I have heard of this before, it hasn't surfaced ( to me anyway) for a good many years. Back in the late 80's a local newspaper did an expose on this and the reader said "you can believe or not, I believe they have a curse". They were not shut down and their licence (at the time there was a city licence that required a background check, there isn't now) was not revoked. Back then the cost of curse removal was $500.00 and (get this) a pork roast - because the curse would get transferred into the pork, much like the biblical casting out of demons into pigs.

This type of scam, (you can believe it's not a scam, I choose to believe it is) manifests in many forms.  Sometimes they wait until they have read for the person more than once, building a degree of trust. I also have noticed that they seem to generally target certain ethnic groups, and always it is people that are carrying a degree of worry when they come in. They seem to be quite good at picking a mark.

Whenever people come to me with this sort of issue I point out that it is not in my area of expertise. I do not deal in curses, spells or energetic issues outside of what is within the persons own ability to identify in their own patterns and work with themselves. I NEVER bring up a cost outside of the reading they have booked and I don't tell them they have to come back. In my practice (and that of others in my field that I respect) a reading is meant to work in compliment to the person's own judgment. A good reader does not try to make the client dependent on them.  It's nice when people come back (I usually encourage waiting at least a season) and usually when I give a recommendation (counselling etc.) it is a referral to a resource that is free (see the area to the right  titled "Useful Links" for some resources around the Internet and here in Winnipeg).

I should mention too that there are resources to energetic work that can be helpful, such as practitioners of Reiki, alternative healing and various forms of work. Part of learning to work with intuitive awareness is about identifying what is baggage we are carrying and also how to have a healthy defense system in dealing with energy that is unhealthy for us. Like any profession there are those with abilities that are worthy of their hire and you can shop around, check their reputations and in most cases,if these people are working conscientiously they will be above board in what they do.

If you ask around there are a good many people in various fields that can be helpful. many of the local resources that I respect in energetic work (energetic clearing) are responsible practitioners, they will offer suggestions in a way that is self empowering and not about creating dependency. They usually will tell you that this (energetic work) IS in their area of experience, you know this is what you are going for when you go in - fair enough. These people charge reasonably and  to each their own.

At the same time there are things to watch out for - ANY time a person brings this sort of thing up in an intimidating or threatening way and tells you not to breathe a word of it to anyone that's a huge red flag. Also if you have a belief system, faith or religion that follows this sort of belief, there are usually people whose job it is to take care of this for you (elders, priests, ministers etc.) and they often are operating either on a not for profit basis where perhaps a token offering is made or their services are offered for a reasonable rate that should not have surprise costs.

My advice is always to take what a reader says (myself included) with a grain of salt. Your life, health, well being (physically, emotionally and spiritually) are ultimately your own responsibility. Anytime a reader makes you uncomfortable, scares you or encourages dependency on them as the only solution to your problems, walk away.

Also, if you don't want to be responsible for yourself, instead choosing to believe that all your life's ills are caused by fate or curses, then I am definitely NOT the reader for you. By all mean go to the sort of person that supports that. I should mention though that you might need a second job, in the cases I have heard of the 700 will not be enough, part of the scam is that once they know they've got you they can say the curse was heavier than they thought, (apparently like lice, more than one treatment may be necessary) and subsequent treatments go up considerably in price.

Additional note: If you or someone you care about has fallen victim to or has encountered a scam or fraud, one of the important things to do is contact your local law enforcement, the Better Business Bureau and also whatever federal agency that may cover your jurisdiction, here in Canada that would be Service Canada

Thursday, July 8, 2010

Just Around The Corner

We certainly seem to be moving through a time of great change. Some would say when are we not? There's so much going on in the world that has our usual patterns going haywire, from weather and other environmental concerns, to economic shifts that have had everyone feeling apprehensive.

My area of intuitive work is more on a "one on one" basis in working with people's life energies. I see a lot of issues working through in vastly different ways. Many who are approaching retirement for instance, are looking at a different set of potentials than they had envisioned just as little as three or four years ago. The impact works through, directly and indirectly on a number of levels. People aren't as quick to get divorced in some situations as the necessities of staying together are different. Issues around how we care for our elderly and our children and communities are more at the forefront.

I'll leave the astrological predictions of the time to people much more qualified on those levels. It is interesting that the later part of this month does have some big transits going on, Saturn into Libra, Mars, Uranus all moving into different signs. There's some big alignments taking place, but again, some would say when isn't there? Many of these things point to the later part of this month through October as a time of some very big bumps and shifts. Most of the resources I find useful though also stress that we have to grow through this, not just go through it.

On a personal level, I've had to, like so many, look at priorities and security in the last few years. When I made the decision to have my business and much of my life settled in Winnipeg's North End, some people found that odd. It is an area that does have poverty and struggle, but it also has endurance, character, some very good people who care about community and a sense of loyalty in the support of neighbors. I don't think we would be still operating had we gone with a more expensive or "trendy" location. Our area is often in the news, but I can also say that I have a sense of safety here. I get panhandled less in the north end than I do downtown. A friend asked me recently how is business, my running joke is some days it's Kraft Dinner and some days No-Name Mac and Cheese. I have had to make some transformational, not just circumstantial changes in my life.

The picture (above left) is from Charlie Chaplin's silent film "The kid" with Jackie Coogan (who went on to play Uncle Fester in the Addams Family TV show- how's that for trivia). The film was made in the time of the great depression. It was in that time that the home I live in was built. It's a place that has what they now call a "granny flat", in other words it's an old duplex, but with the ability to convert easily into a single dwelling. Back in the time it was built a lot of families lived - by necessity- cooperatively. I've been blessed to have, in addition to my biological family, an extended family that tries to live that way. I've been part of adult kids moving back home (building bunk beds requires a DEFINITE sense of humor). What some would have seen as inconvenience has always turned out to be something incredibly important, a privilege to be part of  and there's a lot through it all that has helped me grow.

As a reader, I find I am picking up more and more, not just on the circumstantial changes people are moving through, but more importantly the transformational changes we have to come to terms with. Things aren't going to get back to "normal" folks. This is normal, this is it. We have had a 60 to 70 year detour, time to get back to what has helped us survive. That's just my opinion. I said in an interview about two years ago that we need to look at the experience of people in the earlier part of the last century, take back the wisdom we have stuck in nursing homes and disowned. Listen to our elders and be prepared to share that experience. Sorry if this seems heavy, but at the same time, I am not the sort to just placate where we sometimes need to wake up. It is a heavy time, but it is also a time of great positivity.

Transformational change is where we find tools and muscles we haven't used before. I believe the Creator gave us these things when we set out on our journeys, but it isn't until we get to these inconveniences sometimes that they really wake up. True there are some that actually go looking for transformational change, but real awakening isn't just a weekend retreat at Mount Shasta (don't get me wrong a weekend retreat can be a great thing and for some very helpful, but real transformation is not something we can usually schedule). We are moving into the real acid test of a lot of the new age learning and discovery that came in during the 60's. We have a generation approaching retirement that could be the greatest benefactors of mentorship in the history of the world. We might not get to loll for half the year on a pristine beach, we might have to go for a holiday then come home and work part time in our communities, but low and behold we MIGHT just be better off and richer in other ways than we would be otherwise.

So that being said, (I know, I have to stop saying "that being said"), I think we are in for a LOT of positive change. Fasten your seat belts! I always come back to the Desiderata, the part about "look after your career, it is a real possession" is not just about looking after your job, it's about doing what you do in a way that expresses who you are, and especially; "whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should".

Friday, July 2, 2010

A funny little interview

I try to keep a sense of humor when dealing with the random calls that come through from the press. Often around Friday the 13th or New years they go through the phone book and ask for predictions. I also find that (like a lot of people's perceptions) there is the immediate assumption that I am a fortune teller, a clairvoyant, a person who would be able to explain the ancient Mayans or any number of things. I try to be good natured with these assumptions, it goes with the turf, but I also am pretty clear about my own limitations and boundaries. The following is a good example of that. I should mention too that I was slightly misquoted on two things; I dont run Blackletter Books, I work co-operatively within that business and I don't implicitly trust Environment Canada, I use it as a resource that I take with a grain of salt (just as I'm sure a lot of the people I see make use of what I offer)
Interview about the weather - Winnipeg free Press